December 12, 2018
I’d like to say that I met Mollie by chance, but I believe that we were meant to connect at some point in our lives. Like most people seeking support, I came to her at a time when my life seemed to be falling apart. Chronic stress, depression, exhaustion and other physical health issues were cropping up all over the place. Two decades of over-working, high-achieving perfectionism, not to mention the terrible problem of saying yes to everything and everyone, finally caught up to me. I felt like an empty vessel and I knew I needed help.
Acknowledging this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was someone who was always in control. I did not break down. I had no problem juggling being a working professional (with 2 jobs), a mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc, etc, without skipping a beat. I could battle my anxiety, panic attacks, migraines, stomach aches, lower back issues, fatigue, self-hate, toxic relationships and keep pressing on. I became so convincing that everything was fine, that I even convinced myself. This time, though, something was different. This time I could see and feel, clearer than ever, the damage I was doing to myself and my family. I should have been terrified but instead, I felt hope, like I was connected to something greater that was holding my hand and ready to lead me, step by step to a better place. Things, naturally started to happen and, during this stage of recovery, people appeared in my path who needed to be there. Mollie was one of these people.
When I first met her I told her, with control-freak gumption, that I knew what was going on with me. I told her I was having a mid-life crisis. Before I could even get that last word out of my mouth she stopped me and said that we would, from that point on, be reframing our conversations. My mid-life crisis would now be called my awakening. That was the beginning of my journey to rewrite, rebuild and reset who I am today.
For the following 12 weeks I dove deep into my heart – a place that was dominated by my ego and old stories I had carefully crafted out of protection and fear. Stories that no longer served me. Ones that intuitively felt misaligned with who I knew I was deep down inside but clung to for dear life. Stories that clawed me back from my potential. With Mollie’s help, I went back to my 7-year-old self, my teenage self, my young-adult self. I exposed, acknowledged, forgave and gave so much love to all the sadness, pain, guilt and confusion. Freedom from my past provided space for me to live in the moment – and wow, did I live. I remember tasting food differently during this process. Sweet had never been sweeter! Old songs I had listened to over and over had new meaning and would bring a tear to my eye. One day, I danced so hard that I started to cry with happiness. The whole time, I was writing a new story for myself, which coincidently happened to be the story of my true self – a beautiful old friend I had ignored for so long. My new story is now one of a wise goddess, heart bursting with light. It is now a story of a woman who, with a great deal of self-love, managed to figure her shit out and in doing so, changed the course of her health and happiness not to mention that of the next several generations in her family! It is a story of peace and contentment, gratitude and love. What this truly feels like is hard to put into words. Perhaps I can best describe it as spending a lifetime searching for that one rock that has kept the dam plugged up and then finding it, releasing it, and feeling all the powerful light and love coming rushing in. Truly amazing.
I have so much to be thankful for and Mollie is among the people I am most grateful to. Her approach to healing was assuring and warm. I felt I could trust her from the very beginning. The tools I learned will stay with me forever. She is truly a powerful resource – wise, insightful and gracious, not to mention a beautiful and loving soul. If I could encourage even one other person, who is struggling in life, to connect with her, then I’ve done my part in helping our collective well-being.